Tag: god

This morning I woke to a still small voice speaking these words to my heart. “I go to prepare a place for you.” But it was spoken to me in a way that I had never heard it before.

As a child my father had given me bible verses to memorize. John 14 1-4 was one of them.

John 14 1-4

“Let not your heart be troubled; you believe in God, believe also in Me. ² In My Father’s house are many mansions; if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you. ³ And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and receive you to Myself; that where I am, there you may be also. ⁴ And where I go you know, and the way you know.”

Even as a child I read these verses as a general statement with out inflection as ” I go to prepare a place FOR you “(all who believe in Jesus and would be saved.)

But this morning the emphasis was different and for the first time I heard it spoken very gently and directly to me to my deepest heart. As a bride groom would speak it to his bride. “I go to prepare a place for YOU.” In that moment I felt so deeply loved. My childhood memorization played the verse though in my mind and I embraced every word of it. Then over and over again I heard Him whisper ” I go to prepare a place for YOU.”

I have walked with the Lord for years, and I’m not ashamed to say that I Love Him. I Love Him more than life itself. But even those who know Him well have times that they walk through Dry and weary places. For me it has been my health, or lack of it. For years I have been wrestled with Weakness that randomly overwhelms my body. It comes and it goes as it pleases, some times staying much longer than I feel it should leaving me discouraged and weary.

I struggle during these time with the question, Why. Why do you not heal me Lord? What is it you want me to learn? In fact I prayed these words out loud Sunday Morning before heading to church. As my Legs were very weak and failing me, But my desire to go and fellowship with others and hear God’s word was so strong.

During the worship service My legs finally failed and I had to sat there to weak to raise my arms, really almost to weak to sit up in my chair. And I admit I felt defeated. At the End of the service The pastor asked if anyone felt distanced from God and felt they needed a renewing of the Holy Spirit to stand so he could pray for us. So I summoned my strength and stood for the prayer. I’d love to say that it was magical and amazing and that choirs of angels started singing. LOL! But none of that happened. Instead when the prayer was over I reached out for my husbands arm and he walked me to our van. Though he walked very slowly it felt like he was dragging me as he ran.

Last night as I lay in my bed before going to sleep, still weary and weak, I called out to God as I have done many times before. I just poured out my heart and all the questions that were running wild in my mind. But then I surrendered to Thy will be done. I told Him that “Even though it doesn’t make any sense to me, even though I hate this feeling of being so weak, even though this and even though that, If this is where YOU need me to be right now Lord, than this is where I want to be. Because I know that You God are good and loving. I know that YOUR plans are for my good to give me a future and hope. YOU have seen me through so many hard times in my life and I have grown closer to YOU though every one of them, and closer to you is where I want to be.

So this morning when He whispered to my heart in a way that woke me to hear it ” I go to prepare a place for YOU.” (Spoken in a way that was directed to me personally, in a way I have never heard this scripture spoken before, with such gentleness and full of love) I knew that whether He heals me on this Earth or not, He is preparing a place for me in eternity. And really, isn’t that all that really matters? I AM LOVED! I am Loved by My Heavenly Father, the Living God, The creator of the universe. And so are you!

Painting by Jackie Little Miller of my son waiting to embrace his child that runs to him.